(The following was excerpted from the Roots & Reunion newsletter. It's a new translation of the text of Acts 7:20-24 which recounts the adoption of Moses and his subsequent return to his blood relatives.)


"Now let's examine this very same Scripture, but from the newly disclovered DDS (Divinity of Social Services) version, published by Tungincheek, Inc.


And at this time Moses was born, and was beautiful before God. And he was brought up for three months in his father's house; but extenuating circumstances made it impossible for his parents to take care of him, so they gave him up for adoption, with much pain and suffering. But behold! He became the son of the Pharaoh's daughter, as surely as if he'd been born to her. And Moses was instructed that he was her CHOSEN CHILD, and that she had truly WANTED him, as opposed to those "others" who hadn't wanted him.


"When Moses was forty years old, he sought out the adoption agency which had placed him in his Egyptian home. For it was his desire to visit his Hebrew relatives and to learn of his heritage. But the social worker at the agency reminded him that he was the child of his Egyptian adoptive mother, as surely as if he'd been born to her; that he owed her his loyalty and he should be grateful to her for rescuing him.


"Now Moses loved his adoptive mother and was grateful to her, but never-the-less he felt a call to seek out his roots. He traveled then to the judge's chamber, wherein his adoption records were kept. He prevailed upon the judge to tell him of his Hebrew family.


"'Have I brothers?' Moses asked. 'Have I sisters?' Are the parents who bore me still alive? Why did they give me away?"


"But the judge refused to unseal the tomb wherein Moses' adoption records were kept."


"You show great disrespect for the family who raised you, ingrate that you are! Besides, your first parents have gone on with their lives and would not want to be reminded of their pain long ago. If you do have brothers and sisters, they do not know of your existence and would be troubled to have you come into their lives. Go now and seek counselling to see why you are so troubled with your identity. Turn your energies and your imagination toward strengthening the bond with your adoptive family. Be proud of who you are - an Egyptian - and be satisfied."


"And Moses turned away in great sorrow, weeping bitterly."